reality is wrong, dreams are for real...

05/01: 2012

2011 left me with a not that good ending. Something happen that I never knew it would. It is hard to comprehend at first but I (being the type that won’t give up easily) thinking of starting over.

It was hard, real hard. My time and resources been put to see it through and now, I have no idea how to carry on. There is a lot in my mind lately that I feel suppressed. Feels like there is nothing more I can do. The feeling of hopelessness. I do feel that maybe giving up is one of the option, but it is maybe not. The truth is I am afraid. Afraid of losing, afraid of being alone. I wish I can see this much earlier. I wish I can turn back time. I wish this would not happen. I even wish it might be easier if I don’t have commitment, a way a single man do. It might be much easier to let go. I can’t think of any more moves to play. No more cards to draw. I am stuck.


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09/09: EMC Avamar

My current job have bought a hefty rather big investment. The EMC Avamar. Eventhough it is a great backup solution I agree what Tommy said in his blog.

http://stobackvirt.blogspot.com/2010/09/how-avamar-has-changed-my-backups.html

Still making use of the newly acquired tech. Hope I can optimize everything I got here to make my life easier.

07/09: Time Flies

People says that time flies when we having a great time... well it sure flies fast around me...

I have a great Puasa, great Raya and a great Getaway. My current job is hectic but its all worth it. The only drawback that I can think of is my job is taking full use of my time. I hardly go anywhere anymore especially during ramadhan. Well you have to give something to gain some right?

Will post raya pix if can squeeze some of my time.

See you then.

12/08: 10 Tips on How to be a Successful Wife

1.) Use your ‘Fitnah’ (beauty and overtures of allurement) to win the heart of your husband. All women have the ornaments that Allah blessed them with. Use the beauty Allah SWT has bestowed you with to win the heart of your husband. Dress up for your husband at home. Wear the colours and clothes that he likes to see you in and use makeup, perfume, jewellery - in short, whatever it takes to be attractive to him. From the early years, little girls have adorned themselves with earrings and bracelets and worn pretty dresses - as described in the Qur’an. Continue this tradition as a wife.

2.) Be sensitive to his moods, feelings and needs. For example, don’t start complaining or burden him with problems as soon as he comes home; rather, welcome him and make him feel good to be home. Imagine your husband coming home to a clean house, an exquisitely dressed wife, a dinner prepared with care, children clean and sweet smelling, a clean bedroom - what would this do to his love for you? Now imagine what the opposite does to him.

3.) Review the characteristics of the Hoor Al-Ayn (women of jannah), and try to imitate them. The Qur’an and Sunnah describe the women in jannah with certain characteristics. Such as the silk they wear, their large dark eyes, their singing to their husband, etc. Try it, wear silk for your husband, put Kohl in your eyes to ‘enlarge’ them, and sing to your husband.

4.) Do things together or at least allocate some time of the day to give him your undivided attention. Be sincere in appreciating him, show interest in his day, his activities, his thoughts and opinions. Give him advice and comfort him when needed. Spend your husband’s money carefully and try to keep him informed of where his money is being spent. Remember not to spend large amounts of his money without his permission. Show caring and concern for his relatives as this is a sure way of securing a place in his heart. Never object when he spends on them, as this is a source of abundance in provision and increase in life span.

5.) Joke and play games with your husband. A mans secret: they seek women who are light-hearted and have a sense of humour. As Rasulullah SAW told Jabir to marry someone who would make him laugh and he would make her laugh. Be cheerful and humorous, smile often, don’t feel shy to be affectionate with your husband and make him feel really happy to be around you. Express your love frequently and creatively, rather than waiting for him to do so first.

6.) Be grateful to your husband. Remind yourself that it’s a tough world out there and your husband works very hard to provide for you. So whatever you do, don’t compare him to other men, unless it is favourably. Thank your husband constantly for the nice things he does. Let him know that you appreciate his efforts, not just through your words, but also your actions. This is one of the most important techniques, as the opposite is a characteristic of the women of hellfire.

7.) Don’t fly into a rage when you have a difference of opinion or he criticizes you. Stay calm, control your tongue and don’t challenge your husband’s authority at that time. Use your wisdom, tactics and powers of persuasion later to try to explain your point of view. Believe the best, not the worst about him. Be forgiving and accept apologies graciously rather than holding grudges and bringing up mistakes of the past. An argument is a fire in the house. Extinguish it with a simple ‘I’m sorry’ even if it is not your fault. When you fight back, you are only adding wood to the fire. Watch how sweetly an argument will end when you just say sincerely, “Look, I’m sorry. Let’s be friends.”

8.) Always seek to please your husband, for he is your key to jannah. Rasulullah SAW taught us that any women who dies in a state where her husband is pleased with her, shall enter jannah. So please him. Simple things like serve him the foods he likes, remembering that variety is the spice of life. Try to eat together as this fosters companionship.

9.) Listen and Obey! Obeying your husband is fard (obligatory). Remember that your husband is the head of the family and as long as obedience to him does not entail any sin, it is your duty to obey him. Show respect for your husband by not divulging your private and confidential issues to others, or by complaining about him to people or discussing your marital problems with those who cannot help you.

10.) Make dua to Allah SWT to make your marriage and relationship successful. All good things are from Allah. Never forget to ask Allah SWT for the blessing of having a successful marriage that begins in this dunya and continues on - by the Mercy of Allah SWT into jannah.

May Allah SWT give us the favour of changing what we can change (like ourselves), patience with what we cannot change (like our spouse), and the wisdom to understand the difference. Whatever truth is in it is from Allah and His Messenger, and whatever mistakes are from the shaytaan and myself; And Allah and His Messenger are absolved from it.

12/08: 10 Tips on How to be a Successful Husband

1.) Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good. When was the last time us men went shopping for designer pajamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that Rasulullah SAW would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.

2.) Use the cutest names for your wife. Rasulullah SAW had nicknames for his wives, ones that they loved. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.

3.) Don’t treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it ‘bugs’ us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day - which brings no attention from the husband - until she does something to ‘bug’ him. Don’t treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.

4.) If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways Rasulullah SAW used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives Radiallahu Anhunn. It is something that very few muslim men have learnt or practice with their wives.

5.) Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the muslim ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when Rasulullah SAW would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even if he was fasting.

6.) Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgement she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don’t be that person; thank her!

7.) Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what makes her happy. You don’t have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those things in your life.

8.) Don’t belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. Rasulullah SAW set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah RA was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.

9.) Be humorous and play games with your wife. Make her laugh, have little ‘inside’ jokes and moments with her. Honestly your wifes laughter is one of the best sounds in life. Make her smile keep & her happy. Look at how Rasulullah SAW would race his wife Aisha RA in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?

10.) Always remember the words of Allah’s Messenger SAW: “The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family.” Try to be the best!

Never forget to make dua to Allah SWT to make your marriage successful. And Allah SWT knows best. :)

02/04: Tag

My Blog now can't tag multiple categories to 1 post... wonder if that is necessary or I have to spend some time tweaking this.

01/04: Difference

I was googling the diference between Blogging and Bitching... Guess what?

There is none... I think it is the same thing... huhhuh~

31/03: Review

I am quite interested in #Maxis10 review, so I create a new category called Technology. There is nothing in there yet but I will review most of the gadget and stuff I have or will have.

So #Maxis10, give me the HTC Flyer!!!

hahaah~

30/03: Blogging

With the update from my previous blog (farex.blogspot.com) in 2003. I am officially started blogging since 2003. Hahaha!

Time do fly. I did not even realized I have been blogging about my life and people around for almost 8 years.

Damn...

29/03: Old Blog

I found my old blog lying around in the WWW. I will combined the blog and put a title tag in it. It made me remember things.. i do hope i write blog more often so that i can remember stuff... huhuhu~ anyway i will back dated the date so that it reflect the time I post it.

BTW, it was from 2003 to 2005.